How to let go of an almost relationship

Why do we hang onto the "almosts" in life?

I suppose it makes sense logically... The closer you are to something you want, the tougher it is to move on when it doesn't happen.

It was almost what you wanted, almost the perfect outcome, almost the perfect person or almost the perfect compatibility.

It's tough to move on but let's go a bit deeper than the obvious why.

We hold onto something specific about "almost."

An "almost" starts out great. The beginning was great That was what made it amazing - the connection, the compatibility, the relatability, the honesty. They were honest and upfront. They communicated clearly. They were what you wanted.

But then for some reason it ended and there you are... hung up on the beginning. The way they acted in the beginning is what makes you hung up on the almost.

We need to create a contrast in our heads...

That’s a contrast between how they acted in the beginning - the perfect behavior and the perfect way you felt - and how they ended up acting later and the real you and them.

We need to create a contrast in our heads between how they acted in the beginning and how they truly are.

Let’s get real. If someone’s best behavior is only confined to a certain period of time and then it changes - that relationship is defined by the latter.

It’s not defined by the outlier - the perfect behavior. It’s defined by the consistent behavior.

When it comes to "almost relationship" we tend to define the entirety of the relationship by that perfect behavior window.

But the reality is... that is NOT the relationship.

The relationship is defined by the real behavior. The consistent behavior.

We need to create contrast.

- That's a contrast from open and honest… to them hiding and being dishonest.

- That’s a contrast from communicating clearly… to being vague and uninterested.

- That’s a contrast from them saying they want a future with you… to saying they don’t know anymore.

We need to look at how you were together over the course of the entire period… not just that beginning chapter.

If you’re struggling to move on remember that what you deserve is consistency.

You're hanging onto an almost in life because you’re hanging onto a sliver of what you deserve - how they acted in the beginning.

You’re hanging onto that 10% when you really deserve 100%. You deserve 100% because YOU are willing to give 100%.

Reciprocity. Intention. Consistency.

Create that contrast in your head - how they acted in the beginning vs. how they came to act.

And don’t talk yourself out of what you deserve...

You deserve consistency.