Honor your feelings but don’t trust them.
Have you heard that saying before? I think that's the best advice you can live by as you navigate the ups and downs of your emotional inner life.
Approach your emotions in the same way you approach early stage relationships with other people.
You approach other people initially with a bit of doubt, right?
You feel them out to see if they’re legit, real and authentic… and then you decide if you want to trust them and invite them into your life.
But before that… you're respectful, nice and open but you don't have that 100% level of trust just yet. Why don’t we approach our feelings in the same way?
Why don’t we honor our feelings but question them BEFORE we decide to trust them?
When we do we'll realize that in the same way some people don't belong permanently in our lives... many of our feelings also do not.
We only realize that if we take time to pause and question them.
Is this a real feeling? Is this me? Is this true? Or is this a temporary feeling brought about by circumstances that are also temporary?
Honor the feeling but pause before you trust it.
Open the front door but before you invite that feeling in and before you ask it to take its shoes off and stay awhile… question it.
Is this a feeling I should trust right away? Should I trust this feeling at face value? Or is this a temporary feeling that does not define me and doesn’t belong in my house?
Give yourself the gift of pausing for a moment. What evidence do you have that this is a real and permanent feeling?
Hopefully when you address a feeling this way you’ll realize the feeling is a feeling because you’ve been feeling it. That’s it. YOU get to decide what are the facts in your life.
You get to decide if you ARE unworthy, unlovable, lost, untalented, etc.
You get to decide if the feelings you face are allowed into your house. You get to decide if they are worthy of a seat at your table. The next time you get an incoming feeling, pause.
When you do...
- you’ll realize that you can feel anxious but it doesn’t mean you’re falling behind.
- you can feel unworthy but that’s just because someone didn't see what you bring to the table. And that’s their loss.
- you can feel like you’re lost but it doesn't mean you can’t find your stride.
Feel what you feel but don't trust it right away.
That is the gift you can give yourself.