What should you think when you start to lose interest in someone or something?
Should you dig in because it's a sign you have attachment issues or you’re suffering from insecurities and commitment issues?
Should you think there's something wrong with you that you're losing interest in something or someone you once thought was so great?
But for some reason that's how we've conditioned ourselves to think.
- You’re losing interest in someone you once thought was so great? Well that’s because you have attachment and commitment issues.
- You’re losing interest in that job you once thought was your dream job? Well that’s because you've become lazy.
- You’re no longer fulfilled by your friend group? Well that’s because you’re ungrateful.
We've conditioned ourselves to think that losing interest is a character flaw.
How dare you change your mind on that person you’re dating, that job you’re working, that friend group, your style, etc.? You need to suck it up and stick it out.
We’re conditioned to shame ourselves or come to some grand conclusion that we’re being impatient, we’re being greedy or we’re insecure because we changed our minds.
But I REALLY don't think that's true.
Losing interest is NOT a bad thing - even if you’re the kind of person who lately finds themself jumping from one exciting thing to another or from one relationship to another.
Changing your mind is literally one of the most powerfully intuitive things you can do and ignoring it because you’re conditioned to think it's a character flaw… well that’s just silly.
Changing your mind is you remembering your self worth.
Changing your mind doesn’t come out of nowhere and it’s not necessarily a symptom of any insecurity, anxiety or commitment issue.
I’m not suggesting you immediately dip when you feel yourself losing interest.
You're naturally going to lose interest a lot in life - eventually you move past the honeymoon phase in a relationship. A job inevitably becomes stressful. Your friends inevitably grow a bit distant. The grass inevitably becomes greener in life in almost all situations. And that’s ok!
But to find yourself losing interest is a powerful sign because it means one of two things.
It either means you should sit down and think about what’s missing from that area of your life. Maybe it’s fixable by more effort? More honest conversations? A change of pace? A change of habit? No problem.
OR it means it’s time to move on and to explore something else.
Either way... losing interest is reflective of what you deserve - NOT a character flaw.
Don't sweep that feeling under the table! Don't just "suck it up." How does that conclusion honor your self worth?
You should never guilt or shame yourself for losing interest and you're not always obligated to blindly dig in further.
We get ourselves in trouble in life by ignoring that feeling in favor of thinking we’re flawed in some way and that our feeling of losing interest is reflective of that flaw.
We need to celebrate that gut feeling.
It's your intention showing you that you need MORE or you need DIFFERENT.
It's empowering you to ask yourself: what needs to change to continue moving forward? What conversations need to happen? What honesty needs to be relayed?
OR it's simply saying move on!
Either way… that feeling you have of losing interest is a reflection of your self worth. It’s a reflection that you might need MORE or you might need CHANGE.
Why wouldn’t you listen to that?! You deserve great things in life. You deserve a life, a partner, a job and friends who recognize your worth.
If you find yourself questioning what you have or what you want… that's ok! Don’t default to guilt or shame.
Accept that there is a place inside of you that wants the best for you.
Losing interest is not self sabotage. It’s not insecurity. It’s not a commitment issue.
It’s your worth reminding you that you deserve someone who goes out of their way for you, a job that supports and honors you and friends that are there for you.
And if you find yourself losing interest... listen to the why.