We all go through different chapters in life.
And as we do, we’re often presented with chapters that really make no sense to us - curveballs, heartbreak, rejection, failure and periods of just being confused.
And in those moments, it’s easy to throw your hands up and assume that because you can’t make sense of what happened that you’ve somehow screwed up, you’ve done something wrong to be in that situation or you’ve earned some royally bad karma.
It’s easy to experience a bad breakup, failure, rejection, disappointment, some confusing experience and conclude the worst.
- If you were rejected, you didn’t deserve what you wanted.
- If you feel self conscious, you’re weird or awkward and you deserve to feel that way.
- If a relationship fell apart, you’re unlovable.
- If you don’t feel engaged or fulfilled in your career, you're talentless and will never be successful.
It’s easy to create justification for why you’re not who you want to be.
BUT you don’t have to assume the worst.
Instead of allowing yourself to jump to those conclusions, I’ve found that an incredibly powerful mindset is one where you stare those painful, frustrating or confusing circumstances in the eye and instead of drawing a conclusion about them, you simply say… one day I will understand.
This mindset simply says: one day I will understand why this happened.
It’s a small tweak but it’s incredibly powerful. It’s not putting off your life to one day and just hoping that you figure things out in the future.
Nah, it’s saying that you should never conclude anything about who you are, where you’re heading or what you’re capable of WHILE you’re in the middle of your journey.
It’s saying you simply don’t know what chapter of life you’re on right now.
You could be on chapter 15, 20 or 50. But you don’t know how many chapters are ahead of you, so instead of concluding anything about yourself, about your life, or about your ability… you simply say one day.
Ask yourself...why are jumping to a conclusion about what something means in your life right now?
- OK, you were broken up with and it sucks.
- Ya, you were rejected from what you thought was your dream job.
- Yes, you feel self conscious when you go out to a bar.
Instead of labeling yourself unlovable, destined for a career you hate or a timid introvert because of a challenging chapter in your life… instead say: one day.
One day I will understand why I had to go through these experiences.
One day I will look back and understand what these experiences taught me.
I’m not going to conclude anything about myself while I'm only at the beginning or in middle of my journey.
Instead I will simply say one day.
This mindset is powerful because it acknowledges that you have no idea what life has in store for you.
And because of that you can either conclude that it’s more of the same OR it’s better. If it’s more of the same, OK jump to conclusions, assume that it’s all over and throw in the towel.
Or… because you have the amazing, beautiful power of choice… choose to say: I don't know what’s ahead of me so I’m going to believe that my future is filled with amazing experiences and people. I’m going to assume that I have bright, happy, fulfilling chapters ahead of me.
That is the one day mindset.
It acknowledges that your future is filled with more chapters, that this isn’t the concluding chapter in your life and that those future chapters will make you realize why you had to go through what you’ve been through or are going through.
The truth about life is that you are not defined by what happened to you yesterday or today.
You are defined by what you do tomorrow… by what you believe your future holds for you tomorrow.
You are defined by being hopeful about your future even as you face unanswered questions today. You can flip the script on your thinking and instead of coming to a conclusion right now, you can be vulnerable and simply say one day.
You can say:
- I don’t know what this means right now but I’m not going to assume something negative.
- I’m going to assume the opposite because I choose to.
- I choose to believe life is beautiful, that I am worthy and that I have many more rewarding chapters ahead of me.
- One day this will make sense.
Remember that you are not defined by what happened to you yesterday or today.
You are defined by your sense of hope in what awaits you tomorrow.
You are defined by what you believe your future holds and I hope you choose to believe that goodness, clarity and peaceful understanding awaits you.