· By Case Kenny
The subtle art of talking to yourself.
The way you talk to yourself is the way you see yourself.
And the way you see yourself is ultimately what builds your confidence. It’s what drives you to do or to not do. It’s what gives you peace.
It’s a big deal, my friend!
At the end of the day you can either practice negative self talk or positive self talk.
Negative self talk tears you down. It’s like talking constant sh*t to yourself. I’ve heard negative self talk referred to as DIY bullying.
I want you to have positive self talk! I want you to love yourself! I want you to be your own biggest fan!
So I have one very specific idea that has helped me a lot.
Know that you are a freakin’ force to be reckoned with and when it comes to self talk act like it!
Not in a subtle way. Not in a gentle way. Own it in an in your face kind of way.
Hear me out…
We need to move past coddling ourselves with talk like… oh baby Case you are good enough. It’s ok buddy you’re kind and compassionate, who wouldn’t want you? You’re good enough, you’re talented enough and gosh darnit people like you! That’s gentle.
Too gentle! Too subtle!
If you are a force to be reckoned with in life - that is someone who wants more, who’s in love with life, who believes in themselves and wants to see it all, touch it all, taste it all and live it all - I think you should act like it.
In your self talk… replace the word ‘enough’ with the word ‘more.’ Replace the word ‘enough’ with words that end in ‘er or ‘est.
Replace the word ‘enough’ with words like MORE, BETTER, BEST.
When you do that, you demand that you hold yourself to a higher standard. It’s not a standard that is better than anyone else or that places you above someone. It’s a higher standard of who you are capable of becoming and it demands you step out, show up and prove that you’re a force to be reckoned with.
A higher standard never uses the word ‘enough.’
When you hold yourself to a higher standard you replace your ‘enough’ thinking with MORE.
You move past saying things like: I’m good enough. I’m confident enough. I’m worthy enough. I’m talented enough. I’m motivated enough. I'm smart enough. I’m patient enough.
Nah, you don’t say that anymore. You say: I am the most confident. I am the worthiest. I am the most talented, the most motivated, the smartest, the most patient.
THAT is the higher standard you hold yourself to and that kind of self talk is so much more powerful than being gentle with yourself and convincing yourself that you are enough.
Enough!? Enough by whose standard?
Your words matter. Replace ‘enough’ with ‘more’ or ‘er or 'est! You’re not saying you’re more capable, smarter, more confident, more driven, more talented than someone else.
You’re not calling someone else out and saying you’re better than them.
Nah this is between you and you. When you replace ‘enough’ with bigger words, you are saying that you are more capable, smarter, more confident, more driven, more talented THAN the old version of you.
You are more than the version of you who disappoints you, who chickens out last minute, who doesn’t step out and who doesn’t feel motivated. You have a new standard and that means you’ve grown past that old version of you! You’re not comparing yourself to anyone else.
You’re comparing yourself to yourself - either to who you used to be or who you want to be.
Either way I don’t think you ever want to strive to be ‘enough.’
No! You want more than that so constantly reinforcing being ‘enough’ isn’t doing you any favors. You need to amp yourself up!
Tell yourself who you are and who you’re capable of becoming!
Stop saying: I am enough. Capable enough, smart enough, talented enough, confident enough. Enough for what? Enough for who?
Nah, forget that!
Say: I am the most capable, the smartest, the most talented, the most confident.
This is powerful because it affirms what I’ve known for a while - confidence is just your opinion of yourself.
Is your opinion of yourself that you’re just enough? OR do you hold yourself to a higher standard? A standard that demands more? You are a force to be reckoned with, so act like it!
Make your standard high!
You are stronger, more passionate, smarter, more driven, more confident, more talented, more patient, more determined, more enthusiast. You are the strongest, the most passionate, the smartest most driven, the most confident, the most talented, the most determined, the most enthusiastic.
Step up! Your words matter! Don’t be gentle with what you tell yourself you’re capable of.
Don’t be subtle about it!
Affirm that you are more passionate, the most passionate, the strongest, the smartest, the most ambitious, the hardest working, the kindest, the most confident.
Drop the word ‘enough,’ make your internal dialogue anything but subtle and I’m confident your life will follow.