· By Case Kenny
The life-changing power of starting over
There's power in starting over.
There's power in starting over in your career, in your dating life, in your health and fitness life and in your inner life...
Starting over = hitting reset and looking for what you deserve in another place, another person, another habit or another circumstance.
We tend to think of starting over as a reflection of failure. We see it as a reflection of messing up so bad that you need to start over from zero.
We need to reframe what it means to start over.
When you start over you're NOT starting from zero... you’re starting over from experience.
Here's what that saying actually means.
I've always lived by the idea of accruing "points" in my life.
Anytime I do something awkward, challenging, embarrassing, out of my comfort zone, etc. I get an "awkward point" in my mind. I then cash those points in for confidence - because confidence is built on experiences that show you that no matter the outcome it doesn't decrease your value.
It's the same in my life for disappointment points, rejections points, etc.
Those points are what give me my confidence, my standards, my boundaries, etc. Those experiences add up and I cash them in for what I want.
When you decide to start over you’re taking all the points you accrue up to that point and you’re bringing them with you.
You’re NOT starting from zero. You’re NOT leaving those points behind. You’re bringing them with you.
That's been the biggest "aha" moment for me in my life.
You’re ALWAYS building on top of what you already created because you're always bringing those points with you.
You're always moving closer to cashing those points in for the things you want and deserve.
From a mindset perspective… you’re the furthest thing from zero.
Starting over is you saying:
"I can’t cash these points in for happiness here with this person. I can’t cash them in here for success and fulfillment with this job. I can’t cash them in for confidence with these habits. I can’t cash them in for happiness here in this place.
BUT I can move to another place, another person, another job or another habit and I can cash them in there. I’m bringing them with me."
You’re never starting from scratch. You're never starting from zero. You’re always starting from experience.
No bad ending can take that from you. No breakup can take that from you. No toxic work environment can take that from you.
Starting over isn’t about what you’re leaving behind, it’s about what you’re bringing with you.
What you take from chapter 2, 6 or 10 carries into the next chapter. What you take from relationship 1 carries into relationship 5. What you take from job 3 carries into job 4.
Starting over is simply the next step.