Being single is an incredibly powerful time in your life.
You won't look back when you’re 50 or 60 and say I really regret having been single for those years in my 20s or 30s.
I really don’t think you’ll ever regret that. Why?
Because single is your superpower.
There is no time like it. There is no greater opportunity to grow than during your single time.
Let me show you why and I'll start by addressing the assumption that so many of us have: that your sense of self worth comes from a relationship.
We tend to think that a successful relationship proves that we are worthy, that we have something great about us... that we've "won."
Your self worth 1000000% does not come from a relationship.
It is enhanced and reflected by your partner, yes. It is appreciated by your partner, yes. But if you have none to start with, do you honestly expect a partner to build your worth for you?
No! Come on! Your self worth comes first... then your relationship.
You have to first find your soul, then you find your soulmate. Being single is unequivocally the best time to find your soul so that you can then turn around and find your soulmate.
Yes, there’s certainly something to be said about finding someone who helps you heal from your past, who inspires you and pushes you to discover truths about yourself. YES, heck yes!
BUT that is the cherry on top. You have to do the work first. You have to embrace being single for the great opportunity it is to find and create your worth.
Your worth does not come from compliments. It doesn’t come from having someone to Netflix with. It doesn’t come from someone who tells you that you is smart, you is kind, you is important. It doesn’t come from some else’s opinion of you - no matter how kind and complimentary it is. It doesn’t come from something telling you that you’re their moon and their stars.
It comes what from you build for yourself... and the best time to build is when you're single.
If you’re struggling to embrace being single… let’s start with a softball.
Being single is fun. Plain and simple.
You get to meet new people, you get to mess around, you literally get to do whatever you want. If you want to sleep like a starfish you can. You have room for activities! You can do karate in the garage! You can play your drum set as loud as you want! You have no bedtime! (LOL)
You'll NEVER regret taking advantage of that freedom. But deeper than than... single is your superpower because it’s during those months or years where you realize what love is.
It’s during your single time that you realize what love for life is. You realize what love for yourself is - not just in relation to another person loving you or you loving them, but deeper and broader than that. It's more universal than that.
Being single teaches you to love each day.
- To love each laugh with your friend.
- To love the ability you have to go to the gym.
- To have two legs to go for a walk.
- To have the power of choice.
- To have the ability to succeed in your career.
- To be able to show compassion and kindness to someone else just because you can.
- To teach someone something.
That is what being single gives you.
It gives you the opportunity to learn what love of life is. It gives you the opportunity to embrace making mistakes. It gives you the opportunity to heal from them. It gives you the opportunity to find a sense of independence.
It gives you the opportunity to be kind to yourself.
I know that sounds cheesy but single REALLY is your superpower.
What a time! What an opportunity!
It's a time you’ll never regret.
You’ll NEVER regret exploring what you want.
You’ll NEVER regret diving into life, exploring it and letting your curiosity guide you.
You’ll NEVER regret empowering yourself to change your mind, to do a complete 180 just because you want to.
You’ll NEVER regret having that freedom.
There are other things you might regret: settling for someone who is no good for you, being in relationship that you know was doomed from day one, putting up with someone else’s BS because you’re blinded by potential... BUT you’ll never regret embracing being single.
You won't regret proving to yourself that your worth was never about someone else. You won't regret affirming that it never will be about someone else. It will always be about you.
Proof of THAT comes when you embrace being single. It comes when you embrace the opportunity you have to be the most human you can be. That's someone who chases what they want, explores what they’re curious about and who meets as many people as they can along the way and seeks out as many perspectives as possible.
Being single is what takes those question marks you have in your eyes and turns them into exclamation marks.
No more walking around with question marks - hoping for meaning or validation from someone else.
No more hanging onto their opinion and assuming that they hold the key to your life’s purpose or self worth.
Single is your superpower because it gives you exclamation marks. It gives you direction and most of all it makes you proud of yourself.
It affirms what’s in your soul. It affirms what makes you tick, what makes you smile, what makes you feel and what guides you.
When you find your soul... that is when you find your soulmate.