No matter your past... don't look back with shame or regret.
That breakup. That failure. That rejection. That time of feeling lost or insecure. Mistakes you’ve made.
There is power in those experiences. Why?
When you erase the mistakes of your past, you erase the wisdom of your present.
When you take the mistake away, you’re left without the lesson... and the lesson is everything!
Unfortunate truth: you need lessons in life! If all you had were wins, if all you heard was yes, if everything worked out for you… as nice as that might sound… you’d be an absolute mess! Totally ungrounded and disconnected.
You need lessons in life!
You need mistakes in life! That is how you arrive at the wisdom of your present.
- How are you going to know what love is until you know what it’s not?
- How are you going to know what success looks like to you until you know what failure looks like?
- How are you going to know what confidence looks like unless you know what it means to be insecure?
- How are you going to know what being passionate about something looks like unless you’ve been bored and unengaged?
You need THOSE lessons.
You need to know what it’s like to not click with someone in order to know what connection really looks like.
You need to know what it feels like to be rejected in order to know what it’s like to be loved and to love.
You need to know what it’s like to hate your job in order to know what actually makes you want to get up each morning.
What can you do with the pain in your life? What can you turn it into? Can you appreciate it even though it hurts? Can you create something from it?
Art comes from pain. Music comes from pain. If you ask any artist what inspired their greatest piece... I'm willing to be its inspiration came from something that didn’t go right, a mistake or a tough lesson. BUT they turned around and celebrated it in their art.
So in my mind, pain is a catalyst for creation. You need it. If you erased the mistakes from your past, you'd have no wisdom of the present. Can you be grateful for the wisdom of your present?
You're probably low key grateful but don't realize it.
I’m sure you’re grateful that you can spot a red flag. I’m sure you’re proud of yourself for standing up for who you are and what you want. I’m sure you’re proud of the work ethic you’ve built for yourself.
Well... I’m willing to bet your current wisdom came from prior pain.
- You learned those red flags after f***boy Chad ghosted you.
- You learned to stand up for yourself after being totally ignored and overlooked by your job.
- You learned to hustle your a** off because you've discovered something that made it all worth it to you. Your past pain, frustrations and rejection gives you present wisdom.
That’s not a consolation prize! That’s not a participation trophy! It's powerful! It gives you a guiding light. It makes you realize what you can and will become one day.
So, please don’t look back and beat yourself up.
Please don’t think your mistakes, your misses, your failures or your past pains were for nothing. They are the furthest thing from nothing. They are what give you your essence.
Wisdom, centeredness, confidence, self esteem ONLY comes from experience.
- You can’t become passionate about something until you've been through a dozen things that don’t engage you.
- You can’t become confident in yourself until you’ve disappointed yourself and made mistakes only to realize that you can control your reaction and your mindset.
- You can’t create self worth in a vacuum, in the mirror in the morning… you create it through experience, holding your ground and creating self respect out of the opposite of it.
It’s ok to be frustrated, it's ok to be sad, to get down only yourself, to feel lost. It’s ok to say… that hurts, that sucks, I deserve better.
But please see what I see… your past mistakes give you future wisdom.