Have you ever felt you're hard to love?
I’ve felt that way before...
- I’m too stubborn sometimes and that makes me hard to love.
- I'm too focused on my passion and purpose in life and sometimes that makes me hard to love.
- I find it difficult to express certain things sometimes and that makes me hard to love.
I’m sure you’ve felt that way before.
Maybe you’re a stubborn person, you're type A or you’re very independent?
Maybe you have your walls up a bit and it takes time to make you vulnerable with others?
Maybe you’re more emotional than others, you overreact sometimes or you tend to overthink?
We're all "difficult" to love in some way.
To say there's something wrong with you and everyone else is easy to love... that's not fair to you.
We all have something that presents a bit of friction in a relationship.
It’s great to know yourself and it’s great to work on those things… but when it comes to your lovability, we need to stop thinking those things make us difficult to love.
We need to stop looking to the evidence of our past to validate that theory.
It’s very easy to look back at the countless relationships that didn’t work and assign blame to ourselves. It’s easy to say that relationship failed because I'm too type A, I’m too stubborn or I’m too emotional. That is why that relationship failed. That is why all my relationships fail.
That is why they will continue to fail.
We need to flip this.
You are easy to love for the person who knows how they want to feel.
And you are easy to love for the person who feels that way because of you.
To the person who has defined what love is for themselves… you are easy to love.
There are people out there who know how they want to feel. They are mature, honest and self aware and that feeling is their north star. They're so aligned with that feeling that once they find it... they understand it comes with challenges. And they work through them.
They don't throw someone away because they're "hard to love."
They embrace everything that comes with that person because they're aligned with their why and it's worth it.
Think about yourself...
You want someone who makes you feel a perfect kind of way, right?
That's your north star, right? And you know when you find that person it will come with imperfections, right? And you’re willing to work through them because you know what's important to you, right? If that’s the case, why can’t you believe you're worthy of finding someone on the same page?
"Failed" love simply means you’re still looking for someone on the same page.
Until you find that person... any relationship that doesn't work out simply means you weren’t on the same page. It doesn’t mean you were too hard to love. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you.
Let’s affirm that just as YOU know how you want to feel and you recognize it’s a perfect feeling amidst an imperfect life… let’s affirm the flip side of that.
There is someone out there who will love you despite how stubborn or type A or slow to open up you are.
There is someone out there who will love you despite how difficult you think you are to love. It takes a strong person to realize that love is never easy and that past relationships are a reflection of lack of compatibility and nothing more.
But what I hope keeps you optimistic and in love with yourself is knowing that there is someone out there who knows what love really is for them and they will embrace whatever comes along with it.