· By Case Kenny
You deserve better than an "EXPIRATIONship"
It's a relationship with an expiration date.
It’s a relationship that serves a purpose for a short amount of time but ultimately is not going to last.
An expiration = a relationship you got into for the WRONG reasons.
Here are some reasons that frankly just aren't good enough because they're not rooted in a powerful "why."
Don't get in a relationship with someone simply because they give you attention.
... and don’t get in a relationship with someone because they use that attention to pressure you to move forward.
You move forward with someone because YOU’RE ready and because YOU want to - not because they use love bombing or over-the-top attention to pressure you to move at their pace.
There's other kinds of pressure, too.
There's pressure from the partner you're considering: I’m ready, I’m ready to commit, I love you, we’re ready... let’s do this.
There's also societal pressure. Everyone else has someone, I'm falling behind. I'm lonely. Why don’t I have anyone? I'm the only remaining single friend.
Remember that when making a decision. Are you in this relationship because YOU wanted to... or because you felt pressure?
Don't get in a relationship with someone because you don’t want to reject them.
Don't get in a relationship because you don’t want to turn them down, because they’re "so nice" and because THEY want you so badly.
Don’t get in a relationship because you are a compassionate, empathetic person who doesn't want to hurt a nice person.
I applaud you for being an empath, BUT you simply cannot place their feelings over yours when deciding what to do.
To get in a committed relationship with someone because THEY want it, because they’re nice and because they didn't do anything wrong to deserve being rejected… that is not a good enough WHY.
That is going to lead to an expirationship.
The unfortunate reality of life is sometimes you need to hurt someone to end up with what and who you deserve.
Say NO for their sake and for your own. You deserve better. And so do they.
Don't get in a relationship because YOU just want to be loved.
Just because someone loves you and is obsessed with you… that’s not enough.
You have to honestly and enthusiastically return that affection.
It’s not always easy to recognize an affection imbalance because it's intoxicating to be with someone who prioritizes you, loves you and showers you with affection.
BUT if you don't feel the same spark towards them... that’s a sign that committing to that relationship might mean you're heading into an expirationship.
It’s not a good enough reason to be in a relationship with someone just because they love you.
You have to love them back. Today. Not a year from now.
No “I will grow to love them” mentality. Today.
Ask yourself… do I have the capacity to return their affection? Do I want to? Why or why not?
Answering that question will tell you what you need to know.
Don’t get in a relationship because it boosts your self esteem or as a means to prove you’re over an ex.
I know it’s very tempting and it's a good thing that a relationship would help do that… but that can’t be THE reason.
That can’t be THE reason why you decide to commit to someone. It has to be more than that.
To decide to be in a relationship with someone as a means to distract you from your issues, your ex or your past.... that is NOT a good enough reason.
We know these reasons are not good enough WHYs to be in a relationship with someone.
BUT as with many of the decisions we make in life... we so often decide in favor of fitting in, in favor of comfort, in favor of not falling behind, in favor of not feeling lonely anymore, etc.
It takes a strong, self aware person to ACT on the things they know.
You can do it. You can make the difficult (but worth it) decision.
No matter how hard it might be... that is something you’ll always be proud of.