Let's realize something powerful about f***boys.
A f***boy is nothing more than a sad boy.
Yep. A f***boy is nothing more than a sad boy.
I said it! I want you to feel sorry for that guy (or girl).
Because even though he wears the title of f***boy, what he really is… is a sad boy. I don’t want you to feel sorry for yourself.
I don’t want you to blame yourself. I don’t want you to conclude anything about YOUR worth or YOUR potential.
A f***boy is a sad boy because it's someone who is too afraid to speak his intention. It's someone who knows right from wrong but is too much of a coward to act on it. It's someone who knows one truth but acts on the opposite. It's someone who is willing to lie to achieve some BS satisfaction.
We need to be aggressive in drawing the line between someone like that and someone like you.
You are not at fault. They are. They lack sincerity. You do not.
Here’s what f***boys do to justify their actions.
- They'll say I’m bad at relationships (like that’s some kind of justification).
- They’ll say they're trying to make sure... because they WANT to commit.
- They feed your human desire for potential and for promise.
- They’ll say… I told you! I gave you a way out. I told you where I’m at.
BUT then they love bomb you... and that's a red flag.
Love bombing. It’s when someone overwhelms you with affection, compliments, validation, texts, etc. And they do it fast. Like right off the bat.
I'm all for love at first sight. I’m all for someone instantly falling in love with you and having the vulnerability to say it and mean it. BUT life is life and that is few and far between. Honestly.
I don’t want to dismiss someone else’s feelings or say they’re not legitimate but f***boys do this a lot. They love bomb.
And they do that to feed your desire for potential. They do that to lock you in. They do that to place a reservation on you to make sure you’re hooked. But I don’t think the right person for you is going to act like that.
Someone with the right intentions is not going to want to smother you like that right off the bat. They're not going to want to guilt you into returning that affecting.
But a f***boy wants to lock you in! And he’s afraid of his affection not being returned. So, he’s gonna crank it up to 100 to keep you coming back and to buy the potential that it creates.
That is just so sad!
It’s a sad thing to do because it’s insincere.
He knows what he’s doing. He’s trying to buy a response from you. He’s trying to coerce a response from you. And he’s appealing to the lowest common denominator to do that.
He’s buying your affection by throwing affection at you. He’s appealing to your human desire for those things.
But it’s not real affection. It’s a prepackaged, over-done, family sized serving that he wants you to eat in one sitting.
It’s not real. It’s not sincere.
And THAT not only makes him a f***boy but also a sad boy.
Someone who so desperately wants validation, approval, to hook up with someone, to not be alone, to not be rejected… that he’s willing to say or do something that he knows isn’t sincere... that is sad!
He knows the difference between right and wrong, between honesty and deception. He knows when he’s not being sincere.
He knows when he’s being manipulative. He knows that!
Knowing but not acting makes him a sad human.
It’s a defense mechanism to his own insecurities, his own lack of affection, his own lack of values, his own lack of worth and his own fear of rejection. He doesn't want something serious or official because he doesn't want it to fail in the first place. He don’t want a label so there’s no expectation.
Everyone - no matter what they've been through - has the ability to be honest and sincere.
But when you choose to ignore that… it makes you a sad boy. The next time you come across this person... it’s on them, not you. You deserve someone who isn’t afraid to step up and be honest.
So remember that... a f***boy is a sad boy. Nowhere in that equation is anything to question about yourself, your worth or what you deserve.
Let them reap what they sow. Let them live with indifference.
You don't. You are sincere and that’s something to be proud of.