· By Case Kenny
A mindset to make you happy
I have a simple mindset for you that that if practiced… I guarantee will make you feel at ease, peaceful and more confident. At minimum it will stop what so many of us do and that’s to allow ourselves to feel small.
Here it is.
In life there are things you know and there are things you don’t know.
- You know that you hate liars.
- You know that you hate flakey people.
- You know that you are sensitive to certain things and you know that certain other things don’t bother you.
- You know what excites you and you know what bores.
And there are things you don't know. The meaning of life, why you never heal from some things, what your passion is, what exactly you need in a partner, etc.
Soooooo with that in mind, let me ask you a question…
In your head… what are you focused on?
Are you focused on what YOU KNOW? OR are you focused on what YOU DON'T KNOW?
If you listen to the podcast you know I’m all about asking yourself questions and then pursuing answers. That’s the key to growth! BUT do you let those questions handcuff you? Do you let unanswered stories consume you and make you feel small?
I used to live my life with an overwhelming sense of anxiousness because I let my life's questions and uncertainties consume me. But I set myself free when I realized I had a choice.
I knew I should be always be driven to find answers but I realized that I didn't need to let that quest consume me. I have a choice. I can focus on what I know instead of what I didn’t know. I can remind myself all the things I've managed to figure out about life amidst all the questions I still have.
This shift has been EVERYTHING!
I no longer allow myself to feel small. I no longer allow myself to be consumed by the unknowns in my life.
I make myself feel BIG! I amp myself up. Instead of allowing myself to be consumed by what I don’t know…. I focus on what I do know. Instead of feeling small by repeating all of the unknowns in my life, I celebrate what I do know.
So what does that look like? It's a shift.
FROM: I can’t connect with anyone.
TO: Ya know what? I’ve learned that I’m not for everyone. I'm ok with that.
FROM: I hate my accounting job.
TO: I love it when I get to do something creative at work like a presentation.
FROM: I hate my body. I’m weak and out of shape.
TO: Look how far I've come… I couldn't even bench 135 a year ago, now I’m repping 200. Heck yea.
FROM: I’m going to die alone. I can’t get a relationship right. I dunno why.
TO: I learned a lot from my ex. I learned about my need to communicate better and that a big red flag for me is a lack of independence.
Heck yes!! See what I’m saying?
It’s not a shift from losses to wins or from failure to success. It’s baby steps. It’s the little things you’ve realized and have learned. It’s moving from an obsession with your life’s unknowns to your knowns.
This shift stops you from feeling small. It gives you a reminder of your progress, the discoveries you've made, the things you do know, the questions you have answered and the pieces of the puzzle you’ve put together.
That might not seem like much, but try it and you'll see what I'm talking about :)
The path to being happy and fulfilled is one where you work hard to put yourself in a position to discover BUT while you do… you remind yourself of the things you've already learned. You remind yourself of the things you have figured out.
You owe it to yourself to remind yourself of what you know.
- You know that you're not for everyone.
- You know that you need more substance in your relationships.
- You know a red flag or two to look out for.
- You know what excites you and you know what bores you.
- You know that you don’t care about fantasy football or watching the bachelor.
- You know that you’ve grown to love working out no matter how far you are from your goal.
- You know that the ocean calms you and the city stresses you out.
You know things about yourself.
You've learned things about yourself.
Remember those. Remind yourself about those.
For every question you still have about life, for every unknown that stresses you out, for every experience that doesn't make sense to you yet ... work hard to find answers.
BUT for every one one of those, push yourself to remember what you HAVE learned, what you HAVE proven to be true and what DOES make sense to you. That will move you from feeling small to feeling big.