· By Case Kenny
Are you too picky?
This is for you if you’ve ever found yourself wondering… am I too picky?
Before you jump to conclusions... ask yourself another question:
"Am I PICKY? Or am I SELECTIVE?"
There’s a big difference between the two.
Picky is version 1.0 of who you are.
That's where you would say I know I deserve more and better. I’m not quite sure what that is specifically but I’ll know when I find it.
When you're picky you don't know exactly what you want and deserve but you know you should have high standards. That's great!
But being selective is version 2.0 of who you are.
It's built on experience. It's why you can now say I’ve experienced enough bullsh*t to know the red flags, to know how I don't want to feel, to know what I want. I have proof of what I deserve. I have proof of WHY my standard is high.
You are selective. You've upgraded.
Being selective means you know what you want. It means you know what you deserve. It means you don't jump at the first thing that smiles at you. It means you are building from experience.
Being selective means your standards come from experience.
It means you’ve lived through the opposite of what you want and deserve and you’re now rooted in never settling for less.
So to answer the question... am I too picky?... the answer is: heck no!
Because you’re no longer picky. You’ve leveled up. Now you're selective. You’re selective because you have proof of why your standards are high.
Your past leveled you up. And when that’s the case… there’s no going back.
If you're doubting your standards and wondering if you're too picky... ask yourself if there's something in your past that taught you to have a higher standard? Yes? There's an ex, a toxic relationship or an experience that taught you why you should have a higher standard?
That’s all you need to know. You’re not picky.
You’re selective because you have proof.
Being selective means:
- It’s no longer good enough for someone to "rise up to meet" your standards. They should meet your standards in who they are and what they do TODAY. There’s no need to rise up. They’re already there.
- You don’t have to date everyone who is simply interested in dating you.
- You don’t have to say yes to everyone who asks you out or who wants a chance with you.
The reality of life is there are a lot of cool, nice and good enough people, places and circumstances out there. That’s great news!
BUT the even better news is that the most rewarding and long lasting people and experiences are on the other side of being selective.
That’s YOU being selective because you have experiences that taught you why you should be this way. You're selective because you know there are people out there who are already at your level.
Be patient because you’re selective. Be selective because you’re willing to be patient.
In your dating life, yes. In your friendships, yes. In your career, yes.
The most powerful mentality to have is one where your expectation of someone isn't that they rise up to meet your standards. It's that they are already there.
Once you've become selective, there's no going back because you recognize that you’re not asking for too much.
So, to answer your question... NO, you're not too picky :)