· By Case Kenny
It’s inevitable in dating that you’re going to come across people who don't know what they want.
They don’t know what they’re looking for, they don’t know who they’re looking for and they don’t know what kind of relationship they’re looking for. But there they are... dating.
But not really dating... they're "relationshopping."
How's that for a term? It means they're dating and swiping and treating people like products... not humans.
It’s kinda like they're at Target - no shopping list, just vibes. Just vibes that they wanna buy some sh*t but they don’t really know what.
For those people, dating apps in particular are like aisles of products and they're just swiping looking for the best deal without really knowing what they want.
The result? Flakey people. Unfulfilling relationships dates. Dishonest intentions. Mixed signals.
Sound familiar? That's why online dating and dating in 2021 in general can be so frustrating!
BUT I think there's an antidote to relationshoppers.
It's an antidote that empowers you to be able to spot them - people who are unsure if they're ready to date seriously, unsure if they’re over their ex, unsure if they’re ready to actually seriously consider someone, etc.
Knowing what YOU want. Knowing what kind of relationship YOU'RE looking for.
That might seem like a small and kinda "duh" thing, but simply knowing what YOU'RE looking for makes it so much easier for you to spot people who do not.
It's that simple.
Knowing your "why" seriously arms you with a BS meter.
It focuses you and gives you a kind of "spidey sense" about other people.
When you decide what’s most important to YOU and you know why YOU'RE going for it… you're armed to NOT get distracted by the BS of relationshoppers.
It helps you sense when people aren't being honest.
When you know what kind of relationship you're looking for, you can literally feel it when someone else hasn't done that work themselves.
If you’ve made up your mind and you know why you're dating, you know what’s most important to you and you know what kind of relationship you're looking for… you're so much better equipped to spot someone who isn’t being real.
And then when you come across them, you won’t be distracted by their BS.
That's obviously an over-simplification, but knowing what you want attracts what you want.
Make a decision on what YOU want. Get clear on what kind of relationship YOU want.
Get clear on what YOUR intention is and I’m confident it will help clarify what theirs is.
Sit down say: I have no confusion about it. I have no ambiguity about it. I’m clear in my head and my heart. I have nothing to hide, I have nothing holding me back, I have no secrets.
I know that sounds hokey and like you’re doing some ritual in you apartment with the windows closed and candles lit LOL but just doing that and having that in your heart really does separate you from so many people who are relationshopping with no intent.
It’ll give you a spidey sense for when something doesn’t add up.
Intentional people attract intentional people.
I think you’d be surprised by the power of your mindset and the intention you set for yourself.
Take the time to set your intention and expect it of others and you'll no longer find yourself giving your time and energy to relationshoppers.