I refuse to let someone else's opinion of me become my opinion of me.
It's taken me a long time to get here and it's probably the hardest thing in the world to truly not give a f*** what other people think about you... but it's very possible.
Here's how you can do it.
Start by realizing that it’s in no way helpful to say that ONLY your opinion of you matters.
Of course other peoples’ opinions of you matter! Your boss’ opinion of you matters. That person on Bumble... their opinion matters. Your friend's opinions of you matters.
BUT there is a difference between an opinion mattering and an opinion having value.
Someone else’s opinion of you matters.
BUT does it have value? Does it have MORE value than your own view of yourself?
No! How could it?!
You know exactly who you are, what you represent and what you've been through… and no one else can say that.
So how could someone else's opinion of you possibly hold more weight than your own?
Do they know you like you know you? Do they know how you think, act and dream? Do they know your past? Do they know the ins and outs of what you've been through? The ups and downs of your life?
No they don’t.
Someone else's opinion of you is ALWAYS lacking in some way.
Yes, their opinion of you matters but it NEVER holds more value than your own.
Their opinion of you is not your reality. And you live in reality, right?
NOT caring what other people think about you doesn't make you vain, it doesn't make you a narcissistic and it doesn’t make you egotistical.
It makes you a realist. It makes you someone who knows their reality and trusts it over someone else’s one dimensional assumption of who you are.
That's a HUGE realization!
Consider how someone develops an opinion of you. It forms from individual moments where you’re living a certain emotion or mindset. Their opinion could be formed from a moment where you’re sad, where you’re frazzled, where you’re unsure or insecure.
Their opinion of you is formed from their own experiences and their own reality.
BUT your opinion of yourself isn’t formed from one or two moments. It's formed from a lifetime of moments.
And your opinion of yourself isn’t made from THEIR reality… it’s made from YOUR reality.
They simply do not know you like you know you.
So how can you give their opinion more weight than your own?
When you think of opinions that way, it’s really tough to justify doing that, isn't it? How could they possibly understand WHO you are? They can't!
Personally, I refuse to let someone else's opinion of me become my opinion of me.
- I refuse to let someone tell me it’s impossible for me to do something. They don’t know me! They don’t know how stubborn and driven I am. They don’t know my motivation in life at all.
- I refuse to let someone tell me that I need to lower my standards or that I’m being too picky. They don’t know me. They don't know what I deserve. They don’t know what I’ve learned and why I have the standards I have.
- I refuse to let someone tell me that I’m too serious, too goofy, etc. They simply don't know me. It's the same for YOU. You know the full picture and they don’t.
Hear their opinion. Appreciate it. BUT never value it more than your own opinion of you.
You’re an amazing multi-dimensional human... and only you know all those dimensions. It’s not your responsibility for the image some people have of you in their head.
Let them think what they want. Let them assume what they want. Let them tell you what’s impossible or that your standards are too high, that you’re too loud, too soft, etc.
You know what you’ve been through, what you’ve overcome and what you’re willing to do to live your best life and to be proud of yourself.
They don’t and that’s all that matters.