· By Case Kenny
This is what it means to "bring sexy back"
Nothing is more attractive than someone who can face temptation and say “nah… this isn’t worth losing what I have.”
How true is that?!
It's true in the context of a relationship but also true in life in general. BIG TIME.
It’s attractive to face something that is tempting or shiny... but to not do anything about it because what you’ve built or what you’re building is worth so much more than that thing.
THAT is attractive... and I think you should look for this in other people and you should look for it in yourself.
It's attractive because what more of a power move is there than to be really tempted by something but to not give in because you’re dedicated to growth?
It's an absolute power move.... and power moves are attractive.
It’s so much easier to give into the "easy" things in life, the easy decisions, the comfortable decisions or to forget your commitment to something in favor of a more shiny destination or shinier people.
BUT what’s attractive about easy?
- What’s attractive about making decisions that anyone can make?
- What’s attractive about putting your growth on the back burner in favor of something that is simply shiny?
- What’s attractive about giving into temptation?
- What’s attractive about saying yes to the first opportunity that comes your way? Saying yes to the first person who compliments you? The first easy decision you’re faced with?
"Easy" is a dime a dozen.
Nothing is more attractive than standing your ground against temptation and embracing discipline. I
know that doesn’t sound particularly sexy but it's waaaaaay more attractive than a hot body, a 10/10 face or a dirty text.
What’s truly attractive is discipline - the decisions you make to NOT give into temptation.
THAT is what separates you from other people... and what SEPARATES you is what makes you attractive.
Question for you...
- Would you say it’s a turn off if you saw someone work their a** off in their career, on their passion, their music, their art, etc… but then throw it all away because someone told them it was just easier to hit their trust fund?
- Would you say it’s a turn off if your couple friends had been dating for a long time but then one day on a business trip one of them got drunk and hooked up with a rando?
- Would you say it’s a turn off if your friend got out of a toxic relationship, found their worth/confidence again, started dating but was struggling and frustrated with bad dates and so they got back with their ex?
There is nothing sexy about giving into temptation.
Discipline is sexy because it’s a sign of character, it’s a sign of discipline, it’s a sign of goals/values… BUT more so it’s a sign of commitment to something.
Commitment to something is the sexiest thing in the world!
Because commitment hurts. It’s painful. It’s up and down. And if someone is willing to commit to something and NOT give into temptation... that is rare.
And rare is sexy :)
I think we need to stop thinking of attraction as how someone impacts YOU, what they do to YOU that makes YOU all hot and bothered.
Yes, that is part of it for sure. That chemistry is important.
BUT what truly makes someone attractive is their relationship with themself. What better indicator do you have that someone would be faithful, committed, enthusiastic about you than their relationship with temptation in their own life?
Talk is cheap… but one’s relationship with temptation in their own world says all you need to know about them.
And what about you?!
Give yourself more credit.
For all the different ways you might doubt yourself… I'm confident in saying that you're tempted all the time but you don’t act on it.
You’re committed to something, someone, some goal, some growth… and you haven’t let anything/anyone shiny derail that. THAT is sexy and you should appreciate that fact.
It’s sexy to face any form of temptation but to say… nah this isn’t worth losing what I have.
Nah this isn’t worth losing what I’m building. Nah this isn’t worth losing my pride in myself. Nah this isn’t worth giving up on what I’m doing or where I’ve come from. Nah, this isn’t worth derailing my healing.
That is attractive.