Why are you single?

Why are you single?

Have you ever been told something like this?:

"You’re too cute to be single! You’re too amazing to be single!"

"Look at you! You’re such a catch! How are you possibly single?!"

It's such a weird thing... this idea that if you’re cute, amazing, funny, attractive, successful, etc... it means you SHOULDN'T be single!

And if you are single... then something is up. You're incomplete.

Oooof. Well, here's what I know.

Whether you’re single or not… your relationship status has nothing to do with how complete you are!

You are not incomplete because you’re single! You can be cute, amazing, funny, successful… every great adjective you can think of… and it has no reflection of how worthy you are of being in a relationship.

The fact of the matter is… being single is a gift.

I am all about love. I am team love. I am team soulmates. I am team rom com. I want everyone to find their life partner as soon as they can in life.

I think love, connection and compatibility with another human is such a gift. It is such a blessing. It is a purpose in life to find it. It’s what makes life worth it. It’s what keeps life moving forward and bonds everyone together.

But it is not what completes you.

Love is a beautiful thing. It is a gift. BUT so is being single.

So let’s remember that you have two gifts in life - the ability to love and share life with another human. AND being single. Two gifts.

But for some reason there’s this stigma around being single.

And hence we hear questions like how are YOU single?

But...

What do your looks have to do with you being single?

What does your success have to do with being single?

What does your hilarious personality have to do with being single? Nothing.

Nothing at all!

You can be amazing, hilarious, confident, funny, beautiful… and single.

And there's nothing wrong with that. Bottom line: being single has nothing to do with WHO you are. You are amazing, funny, loyal, confident, funny and successful.

THAT is who you are.

Single is not who you are. In a relationship is not who you are. Married is not who you are. Divorced is not who you are.

So, then you might be wondering... why am I single?

You’re not single because your standards are too high. You’re not single because you’re hung up on the past. You’re not single because you don’t go out enough. You’re not single because you’re not emotionally available.

You’re single because in this moment… right now... you’re single.

You're single because you are single.

That's it. End of story.

Yes, those very well might be reasons you’re not meeting other people… BUT to beat yourself up for being single or to overthink why you're so amazing yet still single… it does nothing!

It serves literally zero purpose.

It distracts you from the amazing upside of being single. It’s a time you won't get back. It’s a time to celebrate. It’s a time to do what you want to do, to become who you want to become and to be complete in a way that a relationship will never offer.

It truly is the time where you become complete on your own. How attractive you are, how successful you are, how kind you are, how talented you are... that says nothing about whether you should be single or not.

You’re NOT incomplete because you’re single.

You’re POWERFUL on your own in who you are, right now.

Love is a gift. Love is power. BUT you’re not POWERLESS without it.

You’re not less without it. You’re not falling behind without it.

And most important… you’re not incomplete without it.