Not everyone or everything you want deserves you.
Here's how you should reframe your thought process...
Yes, I want that person. Yes ,I want that job. Yes, I want that circumstance. Yes, I want that friend… but do they deserve me?
Flip it and ask yourself: Do they deserve me?
Let’s assume that everything you want in life is something you deserve - either innately as a human or because you’re willing to put in the work. You deserve those things.
BUT now realize that just because you want something and just because YOU deserve it… it doesn’t mean they deserve you.
This is so powerful!
You can want that really hot person to be your partner. You can want that really cool person to be your friend. You can want to have that corner office at that really cool company. That’s you wanting something but not considering whether they deserve you or not.
- That hot person? Turns out they’re not compassionate in the slightest and it’s like having a conversation with a wall LOL.
- That person you want to be friends with? Turns out they’re frankly just an a**hole and would never be there for you.
- That job you want so badly? Turns out they treat their employees like crap and they don’t care at all about your work life balance.
Ask yourself this question and it will set you free.
As a human you’re hard wired to want shiny things.
- You’re wired to want the hottest, most attractive person.
- You’re wired to want to be friends with the life of the party.
- You’re wired to want that dream job and the big paycheck.
- Your’e wired to want validation, recognition, comfort, good sex, etc. You name it!
But the great thing about being human and what allows you to rise above those base desires is your ability to check yourself. It's your ability to ask yourself… BUT do they deserve me?
That’s the question that allows you to live your most fulfilling life.
It’s OK to want to be with the most charming, attractive dude or woman around. It’s OK to want to pop bottles with the cool crew. It’s OK to want to work at the coolest company in town.
There's nothing wrong with wanting that at all! But don’t forget to ask yourself… do they deserve me?
Reframe your mindset.
Yes, I want that person. But do they deserve me? Are they going to reciprocate what I have to offer? Are they going to push themselves to understand me in the same way I’m driven to understand them?
Yes? Fantastic! Go for it.
Dunno? Well, you’ve gotta find out.
No? Take those beer goggles off and move on my friend.
We all want the shiny things in life but a lot of the time those shiny things don’t have much to offer in return.
But you have the ability to respect yourself on a deep level and to live the self worth and self esteem you’ve been working so hard on. Yes, I want you… but do you deserve me?
Simply asking that question can really open your eyes and I’d encourage you to consider this mindset the next time you find yourself going after a person, friend, job or circumstance