· By Case Kenny
Rejection is better than not knowing
FACT: We are not nearly direct enough in our lives.
We are not direct enough with our DMs, our words, our emails... you name it!
But here's something we probably agree on...
In a dating setting… being direct is sexy. In a work business setting... being direct is confident… it’s no BS. It’s intentional. It’s no time wasted.
Being direct shows that you care. And caring is sexy!
So, why aren't we more direct?
Obvious answer: it’s because we don’t want to be rejected. Rejection sucks. Duh. There’s no worse feeling.
But I think there's something that sucks more than rejection and that's being stuck in the gray in life.
Being stuck in the gray of life is when you sand down the edges of what you really mean or what you really want.
It’s living in a limbo where you never ask for what you want and as a result you never truly know what’s possible. It’s living in a murky area where your head and heart are filled with what ifs. I think THAT is so much worse than being told no!
So. Let's commit to being more direct.
Let's ask ourselves:
Am I capable of being more direct?
Are my words mirroring my intentions?
Is what I’m about to say what I really want?
Being direct is also a practical measure.
Direct people make life easier... for everyone! Have you ever noticed that you just feel at ease around direct people?
Personally, I feel uneasy when I’m unsure of someone’s motives or what they want.
But when that person finally states what they want… I'm at ease. Because now I know and there’s no more doubt. I know what they want, I can address it myself and we can speak openly. There's no more hiding or dropping hints. So, please know that when you’re direct... you’re doing everyone a favor.
Ground yourself in the upside that is being direct. It shows confidence. It shows intention and it shows vulnerability.
If you are direct and you do get rejected, then what?
Well, as tough as a pill as it is to swallow, now you have an answer. You can deal with an answer, can’t you?
The contrast to that is living in that murky gray area of not knowing. What if’s. Missed shots. Missed potential. Missed opportunities. Regret.
When I compare the two - a simple no vs. a whirlwind of what ifs - I know I can deal with an answer vs. no answer.
Rejection is so much better than not knowing. You can deal with being told no. You can deal with failing. You can deal with a door being closed.
But how do you deal with not knowing? How do you deal with ambiguity? You’re going to end up overthinking, doubting yourself and you’re going to end up looking back and regretting your inaction. Not knowing hurts but you’ll never regret being direct.
In life you regret the things you don’t do so much more than the things you do.
You regret the things you never went for and the questions you never asked. Ask yourself… Am I capable of being more direct?
Most people aren't direct. Most people would rather drop hints, play games, circle back, pick your brain, and hope to see you around.
So surprise yourself and surprise others!
Slide in the DM, send that email, make that call, walk up to that person. Say what you mean and mean what you say... and do it because you’re not afraid of hearing no.