Does everything happen for a reason in life?
I’ve always disliked the usual answer of… yes, that was supposed to happen. That was meant to happen.
For real? I was supposed to get fired?! I was supposed to be broken up with?! I was supposed to bomb that presentation?! I was supposed to lose that friend?!
I've never liked that. That seems too preplanned and means I’m just out here with zero control?
I don’t think things happen because they were meant to happen.
But I do fundamentally believe that when something bad happens to you in your life… in that blink of an eye... it suddenly gained a reason for happening.
Here's how I look at life.
When good things happen, we don’t think twice. We’re just like yep, that’s great. I deserve this. I’m going to take it and run with it. It happened for a reason.
But when bad things happen, we absolutely lose it. We question everything. We assume the worst. We spiral into self doubt and indecision and overthinking.
It's a weird double standard, right?
When good things happen, we just assume they're happening because they're supposed to happen.
Why don’t we apply that same standard to the not so great things that happen in our lives? If the good things happen for a reason, why can’t we say the same about the bad things?
I think it’s unfair to ourselves and it’s the source of a lot of unease and anxiety in our lives when we don’t.
The best way to simplify our lives is to take a step back and apply the same standard.
- Something good happened? Great! That’s happening for a reason.
- Something bad happened? OK. That’s also happening for a reason.
This will serve you really well because it sets you up to have a powerful mindset.
That's the "I'm not ok, but I will be" mindset. This says it's fine to be confused or lost or rejected, BUT you'll be ok because you know that things DO happen for a reason.
They happen to mold us in some way that will ultimately make us OK.
Every bad thing that happens to you in life… regardless of what it takes you from you - whether that’s a person, an opportunity, a sense of confidence, direction, etc. - it also gives you something in return.
Every single time, without fail… it gives you purpose.
- If your 3 year long relationship falls apart and that gives you a reason to reconsider who you are and what you want in life and love… that is purpose that happened for a reason.
- If your dream job rejects you and that gives you purpose to refine your skillset and your public speaking skills… that is purpose that happened for a reason.
- If you feel lost and unsure in your life and that gives you drive to explore and find yourself… that is purpose that happened for a reason.
- If you feel insecure and lacking confidence and that gives you motivation to dive into a passion/hobby that is personal to you… that is purpose that happened for a reason.
That is reframing that it will lead you to have the "I’m not ok, but I will be" mindset.
This mindset is all about being egoless, vulnerable and understanding that life has a way of balancing things out. Taking but also giving.
Say: I'm not ok... but I will be I will be ok because this happened for a reason. I'm not sure what that specific reason is but I know that it gave me purpose.
That purpose is going to shape me. It’s going to point me in a direction that is up. I can't go lower. It’s pointing me to something better, something more worthwhile and something more powerful.
The purpose you’ve been given will deliver new outcomes in your life… as long as that’s your expectation of them.