· By Case Kenny
Dating as an empath...
If you're reading this, I'd venture to say you're a highly empathetic person.
You’re someone who takes time to consider someone else’s opinion, you consider their perspective, their motivation, their past, etc. You believe in positive intent and you respect imperfection in others. You approach relationships with hope and a belief in potential.
As empaths we need to learn to give AND receive.
Without that balance… we give and we give and we give - all because we believe so much in potential and in hope.
The result of that it is repeating patterns.
You end up in the same circumstances with the same frustrating outcomes time and time again.
Your empathy is why you stay in relationships longer than you should. It’s why you make excuses and it's why you rationalize certain behavior. ... all because you lead with hope and compassion.
When that’s your inclination it's easy to overlook reality in favor of potential.
The most powerful question you can ask yourself is: if nothing were to change, is this good enough for me?
That is a very telling question but empaths tend to ask that question way too late.
You need balance NOW.
Be the highly empathetic person you are. Be the person who is wiling to try first. Be the person who believes in hope and possibility first. Be the person who understands what it is to be an imperfect person.
But as much as you give that empathy to others… you have to give yourself the same amount.
Patterns in dating stick around because of an imbalance in empathy.
You can't empty your empathy cup by only giving to others. You have to save some for yourself.
Otherwise you end up blinded by potential again and again.
You need balance or you’re going to see those pattern repeat themselves.
- You’ll continue to make excuses for repeated canceled plans because they're just too busy.
- You’ll be totally cool with "I’m open to whatever" because you believe "whatever" can become bigger eventually.
- You'll be totally chill with no communication for weeks because they’re a "bad phone person" and you "get it."
- You’ll rationalize surface level conversations and no spark because you hope it’ll turn into more down the line.
Give yourself the same empathy you so eagerly give others.
What does your reality say? If nothing changed, is today good enough, compassionate enough and reciprocated enough for you?
Be a giver. Be an empath... BUT don’t forget to give to yourself.
Be a confident empath,
A confident empath is unstoppable.
That's someone who believes in potential BUT knows what they bring to the table.
- It’s where you can be sensitive to other peoples' energies and imperfections BUT equally so to your own.
- It’s where you can advocate for a belief in patience and hope BUT also have strong boundaries and high standards.
- It’s where you can balance someone else's interests with your own.
A confident empath is someone who breaks cycles.
It’s someone who balances patience with intention. Understanding with high standards. Vulnerability with strong boundaries.
Lead with your empathy but ask yourself: am I giving myself the same love, understanding, patience and empathy I give to others?
THAT is how you break patterns and that is how you learn to observe instead of internalize. It’s how you learn to balance potential with reality.
And most of all… it’s how you learn to give but also receive.