I want to show you a mindset I use to ACTUALLY handle rejection (not just bury it down and then never leave my apartment again lol)
I always believe it’s better to hear NO than to hear nothing at all.
BUT that’s all well and good until you put yourself out there and all you hear is NO.
How then do you actually roll with the punches of rejection after rejection?
To handle rejection better… you have learn to celebrate hearing NO.
You have to prove to yourself that each NO you hear is actually getting you closer to YES.
So how do you do that?
First… sit down and figure out what the big YES is that you want to hear.
That could be the YES to getting your dream job, the YES to getting signed to that record label, the YES to finding your dream person, etc.
Then... sit down and calculate "the odds of succeeding." That means you calculate the odds of hearing that YES… i.e. "for every 1 YES I'm going to need to hear 20 NOs."
There's obviously no way to know how many NOs you’re going to need to hear so just pick a number honestly and intuitively. If it's a really important and life changing YES... you're going to need to hear more NOs. That's life for ya.
- In your dating life… it might take you 20 bad first dates to finally find your person. Ok that’s your number.
- In your career… it might take you 3 jobs until you get you dream job. Ok that’s your number.
- In your creative endeavor… it might take hearing NO 10 times before you hear that YES that you got the book deal, the feature in Forbes, etc. Ok that’s your number.
Calculate the odds of hearing the YES you want.
Now... for every NO you hear moving forward, for every bad date you go on, for every curveball thrown your way… you can look at it logically and say… "I am statistically improving my odds of getting to YES."
That is the power of logically breaking down NO.
This idea will help you quickly flip a switch to realize that each NO is actually moving you closer to YES. It's math LOL.
Every NO you hear means one less until you hear YES.
Obviously the idea is that you break the cycle and you don't need to hear all those NOs… but as you’re moving towards that breakthrough in your life you can lean on this and every time you feel you’re not where you want to be... you can say "but I'm getting closer."
And you can prove that to yourself!
This works in all areas of life - even dating.
It’s tough to put a number on how many partners you need before you find "the one" or how many bad dates you need to go on... but it's the same idea.
Every time you’re willing to put yourself in the game, to try, to love, to be hurt and learn from it, to live your standard, to shoot your shot…. you’re statically improving your odds of getting what you want and deserve.
The right person isn't just going to show up in your life. Finding that person will come from trial and error.
As much as the process of "life" might genuinely suck, I hope you can find solace in the fact that for every time you try... you’re getting closer to the last time you’ll need to try for the first time.
The quality of your life comes down to how quickly you’re able to recover from disappointment and how gracefully you’re able to roll with the punches and not doubt yourself.
Every time you try (even if you fail or hear NO)... you’re moving yourself closer to YES. I hope you remember that :)