How to stop comparing yourself to others...

How to stop comparing yourself to others...

Comparing ourselves to others is THE source of discontent in our life. It’s what leads us to rush, to lower our standards and it's what causes us to be unfairly judgmental of ourselves.

I’m talking about the kind of comparison that leads you to assume people with dates on Valentine’s day are happier than you are. I’m talking about the kind of comparing that leads you to assume a hot person on IG is inherently more happy than you.

So let's address comparison head on.

Do you agree with the following statement?

How others see you is not as important as how you see yourself.

You probably do, right? You’ve probably realized that not everyone is going to get you, people are going to misunderstand you and some people might not even like you… BUT you’ve learned that your opinion of YOU is more important than that of people who don't take the time to truly get to know you.

If you agree then why don’t you carry that logic a bit further and say… how I see others is not as important as how I see myself?

How you see others is not as important as how you see yourself.

It’s great to be inspired by other people. It’s great to find examples of what you want in your life. That is human. It's normal to look to others and be inspired by them.

But it has to stop there and go back to you. Your opinion of YOU matters more than your opinion of them.

- We need to reframe once we hit the point of seeing what they have as a reflection of our lack.

- We need to reframe once we hit the point of seeing their perfect Valentines’ day date as a reflection of how we're falling behind in life.

- We need to reframe once we hit the point of seeing their hot selfie on instagram as a reflection our lack of attractiveness.

- We need to reframe once we hit the point of seeing their vacation in Bali as a reflection of our lack of success. Their gain doesn’t mean your lack.

Someone else’s success doesn’t take yours away.

Someone else’s looks don’t take away from yours.

Reframe from "their relationship means I'm unlovable. Their success means I'm a failure. Their confidence means my insecurity" to...

- Yes, that's couple goals… I'm excited for that milestone in my life.

- Yes, I want that success and soon I’ll have it because I’m working my butt off.

- Yes, that confidence is admirable and I’m working towards loving myself so soon it’ll be mine. Their gain is not your loss.

Take back your power by realizing that when you compare you lose twice.

You lose first when you decide that someone else's way of living is the only right way and you need to copy it to be happy.

You lose again when you decide that you’re less, you're beneath them or you’re behind them because you don’t have what they have today.

Remind yourself that what you think of you matters more than what you think of them.

Override that human inclination.

Remind yourself of what you’re creating for yourself and that you’ll have it one day. If you’ll have it… why does it matter if they have it today and you’ll have it tomorrow? Why does it matter if they feel how you want to feel? Why does it matter if their today is your tomorrow?

Your opinion of you is more important than your opinion of them.