A lot of our life’s discontent doesn’t come from the BS we go through - the job that treats us like trash, the people we date who overlook us, the frustrating experiences, etc.
It comes from the fact that we haven’t quite figured out what matters in our lives.
What actually matters?!
It’s the fact that we don’t have an answer to this question that makes us feel lost and frustrated. It’s why we make bad decisions. It’s why we go back to an ex, it’s why we accept less in our career, etc.
If we knew what mattered... we’d react so much better to life’s BS.
I can't tell you what should or shouldn't matter in your life, but here's something I 100% know matters. It's something that should give you peace.
What matters is realizing that life can be both good and bad at the same time.
THAT is what matters!
Think about how you get distracted or frustrated in your life. It happens when you feel you just can’t get in a groove. It happens when you can’t get momentum - in your career, dating life, your personal confidence, etc.
You take one step forward. Then two back... Then two forward and one back. And you’re like I just wanna walk forward!
And so you get discontent and frustrated. You start assuming that because you’re not hitting all green lights it’s a clear sign that something is wrong. You’re bad. You’re falling behind.
I have confidence in a far away day - a day 40 or 50 years from now when my time on this fine planet comes to the end.
In that moment I’ll be able to zoom out and look back and I’m going to realize something pretty freakin' phenomenal.
I’m going to realize the good in my life vastly outweighed the bad.
I'm going to realize that all those steps back pale in comparison to the steps I took forward.
Even though in the present moment I'm keeping score and it seems the bad is seriously in the game... at the end I'm going to realize the good won. You can call me a delusional optimistic but I really believe this and it gives me so much peace TODAY.
In the present you’re zoomed in. You’re zoomed in on every step you take - every bad date, every failed relationship, every misstep at work, every failed business, every failed diet, toxic friendship, insecurity, etc.
You’re so zoomed in on today that you forget to zoom out and realize that life is defined by the larger picture. And I believe the larger picture will always tell a different story.
Life can be both good and bad at the same time.
That’s what matters.
Realizing this will rescue you from the pressure you put on yourself.
It will free you from...
- The anxiety that comes from thinking bigger is better and then being disappointed when you get smaller.
- The anxiety that comes from thinking that shiny is better and being disappointed when you get something dull.
- The anxiety that comes from thinking you need to be a certain way 24/7 and being disappointed in yourself when you fall short.
There's a quote that allegedly comes from the buddha that says: life isn’t good or bad it just is.
Yes! You get to decide whether life is good or bad.
You get to decide if you're having a bad day or a bad life. You get to decide if you're having a bad week or a bad life. A bad month, a bad year, etc.
You get to decide that!
THAT is what matters.