· By Case Kenny
The four types of relationships
I don’t think there are only a few set paths for how relationships might look in your life.
BUT it's always important to ask yourself: what type of relationship do I deserve based on what I've learned in my past? What type of love am I willing to work for and wait for?
With that in mind, here are 4 relationships you'll likely experience in your life and what they each teach you.
1. "It Is What It Is” Love.
This is a relationship that is defined by comfort. You both click. You definitely like each other.
You vibe. It’s comfortable.
BUT ultimately it's a relationship you’re in so you're not alone. It's a relationship you’re in so you don’t have to worry about pressure to be in a relationship.
This is a relationship that reminds you that a relationship has to be more than just comfort. It has to be more than just routine. It doesn't have to be all sizzle and fireworks but there has to be more.
This relationship reminds you to protect your energy because it’s frankly not that difficult to form a relationship with someone.
You’re pretty freakin' great! You’re funny! You’re attractive! You do well for yourself. Someone would be lucky to have you. You’re easy to get along with!
BUT you only have one life to live and as much as I don’t like to buy into cliches and hyperbole... I think you should hold out for a relationship that makes you freakin' excited!
You should hold out for a relationship that is passionate, that sizzles and where the connection is electric. You should hold out for a relationship where it’s clear you’re not just filling a void because you (or they) don’t want to be alone.
2. "All Gas, No Brakes" Love.
This is a love that unfortunately never reaches its potential.
This is a relationship where you believe so much in the potential of what might be that you keep putting gas in the tank - focusing so much on future potential that you forget to hit the brakes and look at the present.
Ultimately you come to realize it's a relationship that never should’ve been in the first place. This type of love serves a monumental purpose in your life.
It reminds you that you can’t force a relationship.
- You can’t force someone to be the person you want them to be.
- You can’t force someone to change.
- You can’t force circumstances to change.
- You can’t set a timeline for something. This is a relationship you wanted so badly to work. You thought you found your person and you just wanted it to get to the next level where that was clear.
And you tried and tried and tried... but it just never got there.
This is a relationship where the only thing you had driving you was a belief in the future of the relationship - of what it might become after something changes, after they change, after you change, after your circumstances change, etc.
But ultimately this relationship ended because you can’t force connection. You can’t force a timeline on someone who's not ready.
You can't force a timeline on yourself.
3. The "Game Changer" Love
This is the relationship that makes you realize WHY you need to raise your standards. It changes the game for you. It changes your vision. It forces you to level up.
Unfortunately in life sometimes the only way to realize your standards have been too low is to be hurt by someone.
This is the relationship that shows you WHY your standards need to be higher.
This is the relationship where you de-prioritized yourself because you wanted it to work.
It’s where you turned a blind eye to the red flags you saw in the beginning but ignored because you wanted them to love you the way you loved them, you wanted them to choose you the way you chose them and you wanted them to see the same potential you saw.
You forgave them when they didn’t deserved it. You put up with their mixed signals. YOU accepted their excuses and their BS… until one day it was too much.
Either they ended it and it broke you or you had enough and finally did the right thing - no matter how hard it was. In that moment… you realized you needed to raise your standards and you never look back from that moment.
4. The "Chosen One" Love.
This is THE relationship where someone finally, enthusiastically and definitively chooses you.
It’s a love that might contain pieces and reminders of past relationships but this is the one where they all come together - your standards, your belief in potential, your commitment to your worth, your patience and the lessons you learned in your past.
It's a relationship where you choose them and they choose you… as you both are today - NOT tomorrow. NOT when things settle down. NOT when they're over their ex. Today.
This is the most unambiguous relationship type yet. No guessing. No mixed signals. No what ifs. No allowing baggage to get in the way. No "right person, wrong time."
When you are chosen and you choose them… the potential works itself out. The baggage works itself out. It works itself out in the present through effort and vulnerability… not some moment in the future.
What kind of relationship do you deserve? What kinds of relationship have you already experienced? What did you learn from each?
When you can sit down and be honest with your answers to those questions, that is when you realize what you've learned in your life - both about your worth and your standards.
And when you know that... nothing can stand in your way.