· By Case Kenny
Is it time for something different?
Being happy in life isn’t always about more or better… it’s about different or simpler.
This mindset breaks the cycle a lot of us are caught up in. We think we need to accomplish more, do more, see more, live more and love more in order to be happy.
Certainly there is a time for that but sometimes in the pursuit of more and better we forget the cheat code.
The cheat code is that a happy life isn’t always about more or better... it’s about different or simpler.
Ultimately I’ve learned that there are so many lessons in our life we ONLY learn when we finally let go of the person or experience that has them to offer.
But we don't realize that because we dig in our heels. We resist change. We repeat patterns because we think that's how we finally get to more and better. Let's try different and simpler for once.
Let's start by letting go.
Let's let go of people who have already let go of us.
We need to let go of the people who have made it clear they did not choose us. Yes, you deserve better. Yes you deserve more. BUT in the pursuit of that we have to let go of the past.
We have to let go of people who belong in our past and nowhere else.
Those are people who didn’t choose you, who said they couldn’t make it work, who dished up nothing but mixed signals, etc.
Don’t confuse your worth - which is more and better- with the pursuit of it.
We need to draw a strong boundary and let go of people who can't possibly offer more or better.
Ask yourself: is there someone you’re still holding onto because you're still chasing them to get the more or better you want?
Finally letting go of them might be just what you need to realize what they can ACTUALLY give you - a new standard or boundary.
But you have to let them go to get that.
And then there's you...
In the pursuit of more and better in life we put so much pressure on ourselves to become that - to become personally more and better.
I certainly advocate for pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, for trying more and for not giving up. But we need a rest from a mindset that really holds us back.
That's a mindset that looks back and says I used to be stronger, happier, more energetic, etc.
We look back at younger versions of ourselves and we lament getting older and that only further makes us dig in our heels and focus on more and better. "I’ve gotten this far in the pursuit of more and better. I need to keep going."
No more of that. Stop trying to be all things. Stop trying to one-up a younger version of yourself.
Stop putting all the pressure on yourself. Stop trying to align your life with all the timelines you see online - the timeline for a relationship, buying a house, six figures, you name it.
- What if you took one month and said I’m going to hit pause on desperately dating?
- What if you took one month and kept dating but you intentionally chose people who were not your type?
- What if you took one month and said I’m reserving one day a week to work on something I’m passionate about?
What would happen if you chose different and simpler as your goal?
As we get older "more" and "better" has become permanently ingrained in our psyche. We have the promise of more and better ingrained in everything we do from the moment we wake up until we go to sleep.
Ask yourself… how can I choose different in my life? Difference goals maybe? Different people? Different perspectives? Different habits? OR simpler? What would happen?
Different and simpler.