Stay single until...

After you've been single for awhile... where do you draw the line between being super protective of your peace and saying... "Ok, this time has served its purpose ... it’s time to find my person?"

I have one specific thought that will be helpful.

Before I tell you what it is, I searched to see what other people are saying.

Stay single until…

Here’s what the results look like:

Stay single until you find someone who puts effort into loving you.

Stay single until you meet someone like this.

Stay single until someone match your loyalty.

Stay single until you find someone that adds value to your life.

Stay single until you meet someone who actually compliments your life.

It’s pages and pages of this. Someone who, someone who, someone who.

Don’t get me wrong… Yes! You should stay single until you find someone who deserves you, respects you, understands you and grows you.

But we need to back up.

By the time you’re making individual decisions about individual people… you’ve already moved past the point of… "am I ready to seriously date? Am I ready to no longer be single?"

THAT is the question you need to answer BEFORE you start dating.

I say: Stay single until you no longer have expectations.

Yep, that's it.

Stay single until you no longer have expectations for what dating is supposed to look like.

- until you no longer have expectations for what the right way to date is.

- until you no longer have expectations for how you’re supposed to meet someone.

- until you no longer have expectations for what a first date is supposed to be.

- until you no longer have expectations for what a relationship is supposed to look like in its early stages.

- until you no longer have expectations, pressure or checklists for how it’s supposed to happen or how it’s supposed to progress.

Stay single until you no longer have expectations.

I’m not saying to date without standards or expectations of compatibility, connection or what you want in a partner. Nope. That is a given.

That’s the WHO.

But there's no blueprint for the HOW... so don't look for it.

Stay single until you're ready to date, connect and maybe love without expectation of a certain path.

- Stay single until you’re open to connect in a way you never expected.

- Stay single until you’re open to joining journeys with someone whose path is unlike anything you considered before.

- Stay single until you’re centered enough to realize that the expectation of perfect and flawless love isn’t doing you any favors.

- Stay single until you don’t give up during those difficult times because you read some quote on IG that says you should only match what's given to you.

Stay single until you’re wiped the slate clean of expectations for the "how."

Remove expectations for the process.

There’s a quote I like that really backs this up. It says:

There’s no formula to this.

There are couples who dated for 10 years, then got married but divorced after only a year.

There are strangers who hooked up on their first date and are happily married 15 years later.

There are people who were single for years but are now happily married to someone they didn't expect to fall for.

There are people who got married after only 6 months together but are still happy.

There's no formula to the "HOW" of dating.

- You can meet someone on an app... let go of the stigma that it’s lame.

- You can meet someone at the gym… let go of the awkwardness.

- You can go on a first date and shake hands as a goodbye if you want (or my personal favorite... a satisfying high five!) 

- You can go on a first date and hook up if you want.

- You can meet someone on Instagram and date without meeting until 3 months in if you want.

- You can look beyond your "type." You can give the time of day to someone you never thought you’d be attracted to.

You're a unique individual human. They’re a unique individual human.

Who knows how a spark might be struck?

But if you're expecting a certain path, a certain journey, a certain progress or a certain type… you might miss it.

I don’t want you to miss it, my friend!

Stay single until you no longer have those expectations.