· By Case Kenny
You CAN forgive yourself
In life, there are some things you'd never tolerate from someone else, right?
You'd never tolerate being with someone would makes you feel like you’re not good enough.
You'd never tolerate being with someone who makes you feel like you need to constantly prove your worth to them.
BUT when you don't practice self-forgiveness, that's exactly what you're tolerating... from yourself!
We need to learn to forgive ourselves.
You deserve to be free of fighting yourself. You deserve more than feeling like you’re not good enough... for yourself - the one person in the world you undeniably are good enough for!
I know you’re capable of this… of choosing self grace over self grudges. You’ve learned to do this for others in life.
You’ve forgiven exes who hurt you. You’ve forgiven friends who let you down. You've forgiven people who disappointed you.
You’ve probably realized that it’s soooo much easier to forgive someone else than it is to forgive yourself.
But why is that?
Why do we reserve so much compassion for others and yet we leave ourselves hanging out to dry? Do you agree that you deserve to feel that your best is good enough? You do, right? No matter the outcome? You deserve to live without the need to prove your worth, right?
You would never tolerate someone who didn’t allow you to live those truths, right?
No! You'd leave!
You’d cut em loose!
And well... since you can’t dip on yourself, what’s the solution to the things you hold against yourself?
It’s grace. You can forgive yourself. That’s the only answer.
Grace over grudges.
That means letting go of grudges aka resentment towards yourself.
- That’s a grudge that says your worth is less because of something that happened or didn’t happen, mistakes you’ve made, for falling short when you shouldn’t have, etc.
- That’s a grudge that says you’re not who you should be right now.
- That’s a grudge that says you’re out of time, that you’ve blown it, that you’re alone in the world.
You wouldn’t tolerate someone who held those kinds of imperfections over your head, would you?
So why then do you tolerate them from yourself? It’s not easy BUT forgiving yourself is the only way to move forward.
When you choose grace over grudges you remember that you can’t go back and change the past.
BUT you can move forward... and you’re not starting from scratch.
You're starting from experience. Isn’t that the saying?
You're not starting over because you’re starting from experience.
All the self blame in the world isn't going to change the past. But grace can change the future. Grace means you move forward… starting from experience.
Ask yourself: what can I forgive myself for?
I’m sure there is something or many things.
What is something you beat yourself up for? What is something you blame yourself for? What is something that makes you doubt your self worth?
Replace that with grace.
Just try. Why not? You’ve been holding it for long enough. Why not mix things up?
In the same way that there’s really no downside to forgiving someone who’s wronged you, there’s no downside to choosing grace over the grudges you've been holding against yourself.