· By Case Kenny
The best revenge in life...
Have you ever said to yourself "is this it!? Is this all I’ve got?"
Do you know that feeling?
We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be more. But if we’re not giving ourselves the credit we deserve WHILE we pursue more, it becomes a self defeating cycle where we beat ourselves up for no reason other than we're still building.
I want you to be proud of who you are no matter how much work you still have to do.
THAT is the key to living a fulfilling life - finding a way to be proud of yourself amidst all the things you’re still going after, the ways you’re still growing, and the ways you’re still healing.
We have to find a way to be proud of ourselves - even if we’re single and we don’t want to be, even if we’re not working our dream job at that moment, even if our art, music, startup hasn’t had its blow up moment yet, etc.
Amidst those things we have to find a way to be proud of who we are.
Here’s how I find a logical way to be proud of myself no matter what.
It comes from the saying I’m sure you’ve heard it before: "the best revenge is to not be like your enemy."
I was thinking about that phrase and I don't really have any enemies, but how can I flip this? What would an enemy of Case Kenny look like?
I assume an enemy of Case is basically the opposite of Case, so what would that person look like?
That'd be someone who is critical of others, of themselves, who is not motivated, who is lazy and mean and has no empathy, who is superficial and who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. That would be the enemy of Case Kenny.
What can we do with this exercise?
If the best revenge in life is to NOT be like your enemy, if the greatest comeback in life is when you refuse to be like your enemy, then it logically follows that when you’re not your enemy, when you don’t give into temptation, when you don’t turn cold in the face of life… that’s something to be proud of.
It follows that you should be proud of yourself for NOT being a certain way.
Yes, it’s great to be proud of yourself for pushing for MORE and doing MORE and checking off MORE of the things you set out to do… but while you’re working on those things, there’s always this one thing you can turn to and be proud of. You can be proud you're NOT a certain way.
For me... I described my enemy in one way but if I look at myself - amidst all the things I’m working on - I can be proud of that fact that I’m not that person. I do my best to not be critical of others. I am motivated. I’m not lazy. I do my best to live with empathy.
The best revenge is to not be like your enemy.
Take a minute and write down a couple sentences to describe your "enemy." Describe the person you don’t want to be. Describe the person that is the version of you if you gave on all the things that are important to you. Describe the person that is the version of you if you took all the lessons you’ve learned, the standards you have, the vision, the goals, the ethics, the best aspects of your personality and you threw them in the trash. It’s someone who is lazy?
It’s someone who is critical of others? It’s someone who gives up easily? It’s someone who is selfish?
Now you have a good picture of the opposite of you.
That's the person you’re working hard to NOT be. Now look at yourself. Even amidst the things you haven't done, the things you’ve tried and failed to do… I’m willing to bet you’re still not those things. You’re still not those negative things.
You're not your enemy. You haven't become your enemy. You refuse to be like them.
You refuse to become those things. You refuse to give up. You refuse to be cold. You work hard to be self aware. To love others. To support others. To go after your dreams. To not give up on them. You are not your enemy.
That’s a great thing, right?
If you’re struggling right now… give yourself a quick dose of pride in who you are. That’s pride that exists today - not tomorrow or some far off time when you are the way you want to be, with the body you want to have, the paycheck, partner, business, house, etc.
You can be proud of yourself today.
You deserve to give yourself more credit. You are not like your enemy. You are not like the people who are the opposite of who you strive to be.
You haven't given up. You haven’t chosen the easy road. You haven't allowed life to turn you cold. You are not like your enemy. That path is easy.
It’s easy to let life beat you up to the extent that you give up on the things that are important to you. In so many areas of your life… you are not like your enemy.
And that is something to be proud of.