· By Case Kenny
What is the purpose of a relationship?
What is the point of a relationship?
It has to be more than the primitive answers we might give or hear - having someone so you’re not alone, wanting to start a family, "it’s just what you’re supposed to do", or "life is meant to be shared with someone else."
Those are fine answers but I want to add a thought here that will be helpful for you in two senses.
It will give you an incentive to try again if you’ve been through heartbreak and you’re not exactly excited to get back up and start over.
And this will also be helpful for anyone in a relationship and is concerned it’s just going to get boring, hold them back or threaten their independence.
The purpose of a relationship is to make life MORE exciting for you.
That's maybe a bit different than how we typically think about relationships.
We tend to consider a relationship as something you do when you decide it’s time to "settle down."
Maybe you’ve said that yourself? "I had my fun. I had party phase in my 20s. Now I’m just looking to find my person and settle down."
We consider a serious relationship as a means to do just that - to settle down. I think that the phrase "settle down" gives us a misunderstanding of what a relationship truly is all about.
I think the purpose of a relationship is quite literally the opposite of that.
The opposite of a settling down is MORE and that's exactly what the right relationship gives you.
It gives you MORE of everything - more adventure, more excitement, more trial and error, more late nights, more spontaneous travel, and more saying YES. The point of a relationship is to find someone and together you both get MORE out of life - in every sense… emotional, physical, adventure, late nights, travel, music, art, culture, etc.
It’s NOT to settle down.
With the right person… you now have a "ride or die" presence in your life. You have a partner who has your back no matter what. You have a partner who is there to support you, motivate you, and pick you up if you fall.
The purpose of the right relationship transcends a lot of the easy things that a relationship offers on paper - companionship, potential to have a family, etc. A relationship puts your humanity in overdrive.
It gives you fuel to try more because you have an incredible and companionate safety net of support.
- You have some who won’t judge you if you pull out a ridiculous dance move at a wedding.
- You have someone who will stay up late with you.
- You have someone who will book a last minute flight with you.
- You have someone who won’t throw your feelings back at you or judge you.
You have a ride or die. That means MORE!
That means both of you get to do, be more, and feel more more!
You get to be that exciting fun couple that doesn’t fear judgment or anything because you have each other!
The point of a relationship is to give you more in life.
Looking at a partner or potential parter through this lens of "more" is a great way to gauge the health of your relationship.
If you feel like you’re settling down, you’re doing less, feeling less, seeing less... this is something to consider.
Ask yourself... is this relationship giving me more life or less life?
If you're single, use this perspective to keep your hear open, and be willing to try first again because it has an incredible potential reward attached to it… MORE life.
As we get older and we still haven’t found our person, we start to put a lot of pressure on yourselves as we watch the clock tick. Try again - no matter how old you are - because when you do find your person… It's 2.0. It's more life.
The right person reinvigorates you. The right relationship reinvigorates your life. Together you have a new sense of wholeness, centeredness, and energizing support where the world truly is your oyster. T
he purpose of your union together is MORE.
It’s not settling down. It’s not just checking some box. It’s what you get from it - which is MORE.