The love you deserve is with someone who keeps their word.
That’s it. That’s the simplest thing to look to that provides the foundation for the rest.
Here’s the tough reality of dating that we need to acknowledge.
People are complicated. People make mistakes. You make mistakes. I make mistakes. People inadvertently and unintentionally hurt each other. People mess up their priorities. People live and learn.
But amidst all that humanness… the one thing we can look to is: what do they do AFTER they make a mistake?
Notice what I’m talking about here is AFTER someone messes up. After someone messes up.... do they keep their word? THAT is what we’re looking at.
We’re not doing that thing where we obsess over if they rescheduled dinner last minute. We’re not obsessing over if they said they’d text but it took them 3 days to do it.
Do they realize they broke their promise and do they take action fix it and never do it again?
THAT is what we're looking at. Keeping one’s word means more than just doing what they say they’re gonna do. We're human. We all make mistakes. What comes next is what matters.
Does someone disappoint you again and again? That is not a love you deserve.
But does someone disappoint you, realize it and fix it once and for all?
That is the kind of love you deserve amidst the reality of dating. It's a two-for-one. You have someone who is self aware AND who keeps their word.
You deserve someone who is self aware - who recognizes when they did something wrong or hurtful - AND who then aligns their actions with their self awareness.
At the end of the day it’s self awareness and THAT is the quality you deserve.
Self awareness is the most powerful quality to look for in someone because let’s be real… there are people who've hurt you, disappointed you, broken promises but they didn't give it a second thought. They didn't have any awareness or they didn't care.
Someone who keeps their word is someone who is self aware and action oriented.
That is what you deserve.
Let's acknowledge that life isn't always simple and people make mistakes. I think your soulmate unfortunately at some point is going to unintentionally hurt you. That's life for you. I wish it wasn't the case but we're all human.
What comes next is what really matters.
Do they keep their word?
You deserve someone who understands you and how their behavior or words affect you.
Take pause and practice patience. Understand mistakes and humanity and all those things that very much affect YOUR ability to be perfect too.
But what you should pay attention to is what comes next.
Do they realize WHY it was a mistake. And what do they do?
It tells you a lot.