Have you ever been 180'd?
Have you ever had someone who wanted you FIRST, pursued you FIRST, was the FIRST to put on the charm, etc. only to then 180 and say they're not interested?
What should you think?
Should you blame yourself? Should you accept a narrative that no one is serious and everyone's playing games?
Or.... is there a better way?
We have to learn to tell ourselves more redeeming stories. We have to go beyond the stories on social media and narratives that look to the past rather than the future.
We have to move past overthinking the WHY behind someone's behavior.
Honestly does it really matter why someone does something like this? All that ultimately matters is that they did.
You can choose to see someone’s transition from interest to disinterest as a reflection of your lack… OR you can see it as the universe moving them out of the way.
Can you CHOOSE to believe that?
Can you be grateful they lost interest in you today? Can you be grateful it became clear you two were incompatible today?
You deserve someone whose mind is made up FOR you.
No matter if you’re genuinely caught up in a cycle of BS in dating and there's clear evidence that lately no has been honest, serious, etc... the reality of life is that a cycle is a cycle until it’s not anymore.
Your mission in dating is to meet incompatible people and figure out you're incompatible so you can move on to someone who isn't.
Just because one person 180'd you, just because you’ve been ghosted 3 times this month, just because you keep going on bad date after bad date… it doesn't mean someone won’t come along and in an instant change that story.
Can you choose to believe that?
Do you choose to let that one person who 180’d you continue to live rent free in your head so much so that you let them dictate your worth?
OR do you choose to believe that was just one person? One incompatible person?
Their inadequacy, their inconsistency and their immaturity doesn't mean anything about what you deserve. It just shows that you two were incompatible.
Aren’t you grateful an incompatible person was moved out of your way today rather than tomorrow?
Aren’t you grateful you’re not investing any more effort or compassion in someone who isn’t willing to do the same? Aren’t you glad the universe acted in some way to show you that?
You deserve someone whose mind is made up for you.
Be grateful you know who they are today so you don’t have to figure it out tomorrow. That person is NOT the key to your happiness and they’re not proof of any inadequacy of yours.
Take it for what it’s worth… they’re just not that into you. And that’s good!
Because that’s how you learn you’re not compatible with someone. You don’t let it drag on. You don’t HOPE it gets better. You don’t hope things will change.
No beating yourself up. No creating a sad story about your dating life.
The story you’re living today - it might be a frustrating one - but it’s only the story you’re living until you’re no longer living it.
Think of how many people you’ve come across in your life that YOU just weren’t that into. Probably quite a few!
That’s how life is.
Can you imagine if everyone was a perfect match for each other? What would that say about compatibility?
Life is about meeting dozens of incompatible people until you meet that one person. That is the expectation and along the way you’re going to come across the 180’ers.
You have proof that life can change for the worse now, right? You have proof that someone can 180 you.
Can you push yourself to believe the opposite is true as well?
Can you push yourself to believe that life can change for the better in an instant?
You can choose to see their transition from interest to disinterest as a reflection of your lack… or you can thank the universe for moving them out of your way.
The choice is up to you.