You deserve to be with someone who chooses you.
The quality of your life is very much dependent on your effort and what/who you're willing to go after… BUT you need to have strong standards knowing that your effort needs to be returned to you.
As much as you should choose what you want and who you want… it’s an absolute must that you are chosen back - no convincing them, no haggling with them, no chasing them.
You deserve to be chosen.
You deserve to be in a relationship where you say… they have chosen me just as I have chosen them.
You should never have to convince someone to choose you.
When someone chooses you...
- you don’t have to convince them to stop seeing other people.
- you don’t have to convince them to call you, text you, etc.
- you don’t have to convince them to meet your friends or your family.
- you don’t have to convince them to listen to you and your problems or what’s going on in your mind.
- you don’t have to convince them to spend time doing what you want even if it bores them.
Am I chosen? Do I feel chosen?
Ask yourself that and seriously analyze how you feel.
Yes... certainly in relationships both people aren’t going to be on the same page at all times. That’s not realistic.
But is there a sense of commitment to try to be?
That is being chosen.
It means who you are today is good enough for them... because they chose you!
Someone choosing you is a mental commitment to trying.
It might not lead to the outcome you both want because life is life... but it’s what you should strive for in the early stages of a relationship and you shouldn’t accept anything less.
Someone who chooses you is someone who...
- is willing to be vulnerable. - is willing to be hurt in the process.
- no longer wants to talk to other people.
- no longer wants to be on dating apps or to "keep their options open."
They don’t need options because what they have right in front of them is good enough... not "almost" good enough.
You should never have to convince someone to choose you. That’s a fact.
If you find yourself in a situation where you realize you're doing the convincing, it's OK. Yes, in the moment it sucks. You'll feel insecure, less and rejected.
BUT think about it...
If you ultimately succeeded in convincing someone to choose you... where's the compassion in that?
To have to convince someone to choose you? To have to convince them to stop seeing other people? To have to convince them to care about you but only because you put the pressure on them?
How fulfilling could a relationship be where you have to convince them to be in it?
You deserve more than that!
... and you can find it.
The right person chooses you with their words and their actions.