Let's talk about the emotional safety nets we put in place in our lives.
Emotional safety nets - the emotions that keep us in place because we know them to be true and kind of comforting in a weird way.
"My ex hurt me. All of my past relationships have been failures. I’m hard to love. I’m lost."
Those are past safety nets. They keep us in place and we turn to them because they're more certain than the uncertainty of moving on or starting over.
It’s oddly comforting to turn to thoughts like that no matter how painful or self deprecating they are. It’s more real to turn to those things than it is to say… I’m creating closure for myself. I’m moving on. I'm starting over.
That is uncertain.
The greatest gift you can give yourself is to live with closure and clarity.
Give yourself closure.
We all have things we need to heal from and things we need to forgive ourselves for. We all have things we need to create closure around.
But sometimes it takes a lifetime to understand why something happened the way it did and it puts undue pressure on you to say I need this figured out today.
That’s NOT the closure you can give yourself today.
The closure you can give yourself TODAY that removes that emotional safety net is simply acceptance of what happened or didn’t happen in your past.
The closure YOU create for yourself is inner peace. It’s not 100% understanding. It’s not a thesis statement about why something happened. That comes with time. It’s peaceful acceptance of chapters with no end, chapters with confusing last pages and chapters that make you question your self worth.
Closure is you saying… I don’t have the answers right now but I will. And because of that I am at peace with what happened.
When that’s your mentality… that safety net of hanging onto the past goes away. That safety net that says I’m unlovable or everyone is dishonest goes away because it's replaced by a calming sense of peaceful acceptance.
And then there's clarity.
That’s you living without ambiguity, without any lack of intention and without any lack of awareness of why you’re doing what you’re doing. That’s you knowing if what you’re doing is honoring your standards.
That’s you always being in tune with the answer to the question "is this a yes or a no?" That's you doing all you can to answer that question.
That’s you creating clarity through the questions you ask, the actions you take and the self awareness you practice.
Clarity says you are always in control of what you accept in your life and if something isn’t aligned - no matter how comforting it might be to continue down that path - you owe it to yourself to act on the clarity you give yourself.
That’s closure and that’s clarity.
Easy to remember, right? Closure and clarity. Closure and clarity.
These are two powerful states of being that when you operate from them as your place of truth… those safety nets disappear and you finally move on in your life.
Right now are you living with closure and clarity?
As hard as it might be sometimes those are two things you can always give yourself. No one else has a say in the matter and no one can take them from you.